Grease Stains
by Mlle Passpartout
Summary: One-Shot. Ruby's car breaks down at the end of the day, and as it turns out, Archie fixes more than people. Warning: Language.


**A/N: **Just a little Red Cricket break from Hard Day's Night! Based on a picture of Archie with his sleeves rolled up, looking foxy and concentrated, I decided to turn it into a one-shot. Enjoy!

* * *

Ruby scowled at her stupid car.

It was dead, again, and the shop was closed - and she didn't really want to walk home. She'd just bought the heels she was wearing and to scuff them up on the sidewalk would be a tragedy to the umpteenth degree. It was what stopped her from kicking the damn thing, but that didn't mean she couldn't curse it to high heaven.

Unfortunately, the car did not respond to verbal abuse. When Ruby climbed into the front seat, attempting to turn the key again, the engine buzzed and stalled, completely unable to do anything that would please its owner. It was a total lemon, but Ruby didn't have the money to replace the thing, and it had treated her so well – at least until tonight.

Growling in frustration, Ruby rested her forehead against the wheel, smacking the dashboard with her hand. "Come on you dumb fuck!" she stepped hard on the gas pedal, for no reason other than to do it, and she got out of the car again, running her hand through her long, straight hair.

It was already dark, but still warm in early September; she could make it home without consequence. It'd be ten minutes – maybe she'd even slip her shoes off and carry them – she hated that, it was kind of trashy, and she liked to follow Jenna Marbles' advice: you make vows with your shoes, til home do we part.

But if she was walking home, she was going to have to break those vows. Her feet were already aching from the entire day, but she wouldn't dare have taken them off at work, Granny would find far too much satisfaction in it, particularly as So, she stood on the sidewalk, on the sad precipice of walking home shoeless at the end of the night, like a bad night at the bar. Sighing, Ruby took one more look at her car before smacking the hood with agitation. "I can't believe you fucking suck so bad," she sighed, "after I've taken such good care of you. Way to be there when I need you, buddy."

"Ruby?"

For a second, Ruby was convinced that her car was talking to her. Granny would send her straight to the shrink like she'd been playing too since she was probably fifteen, but here she was – car talking to her, and that was no doubt pure craziness. Of course, when she heard her name again, Ruby reason a car would not address someone twice and looked to where the sound was actually coming from. Her relief washed over her, "Oh Archie, you scared me," she smiled easily, glad that she wasn't crazy.

"I'm so sorry," he apologized sincerely, though his voice trembled and he stuttered just slightly. Ruby never overheard him stumbling over his words with anyone else; he was always nervous around her. She couldn't tell why, it wasn't as though she was intimidating in any meaningful way, after all, she wasn't going to take someone down with her teeth or a gun like Emma could, and yea, she dressed loudly and maybe acted that way, but she wasn't dangerous like Regina – and he didn't stammer and stutter with them. She would admit, she probably was a bit provocative for him, but still, not intimidating in any meaningful way that she could see. "Are you having car trouble?" he fiddled with Pongo's leash in his hand, the Dalmatian standing dutifully by his side.

Sighing at the mention of her car, Ruby nodded. "Yea, unfortunately. It died on me and the shop is closed." She shrugged, "My luck, huh?" her light laugh turned into a sort of despondent chuckle by the end of it. It really was her luck nowadays. A heart in a box, now a broken down piece of junk in the street, not really a great year.

"Well…" he reached behind his neck and rubbed, an awkward smile, "Pop the hood – maybe I can be of assistance,"

Ruby blinked, looking at the mild mannered psychiatrist. "It's okay, Archie," she smiled softly, "I can just wait until morning, no need to ruin your jacket or you know, hurt yourself, poking around." She shrugged – not really able to visualize the sweater vest wearing psychiatrist fixing her car.

"I won't," he grinned with a new confidence Ruby had never seen, and walked closer to her, holding up his hand, "If there's any chance of me ruining anything – myself included," he did the Boy Scout sign, which for some reason, made Ruby giggle like a school girl, "I'll stop poking around, as you put it, and call the mechanic myself."

That sounded suspiciously like a bet to Ruby and she couldn't help but enjoy a good challenge. She didn't know where her competitive nature came from, but the fact that she could make someone eat crow, well, it was enough to persuade her. "Alright," she smiled, "and I won't even say I told you so," she announced as she opened the driver's side door and pressed the button that released the hood exactly three times – it seemed to respond in threes – and the hood clicked.

Withdrawing from the car, she realized that Archie had already removed his jacket and was attempting to roll up the sleeves of his light green shirt, the one with the brownish pinstripes. Green was such a good color for him, and that shirt made him look unusually tall, Ruby idly noted, along with the fact he was having trouble with balancing everything. "Here," she giggled, practically bouncing over, "I'll take care of these," Pongo wriggled excitedly as Ruby took the leash and jacket, allowing Archie to give her a bashful sort of thanks and head to the car.

Ruby crouched down to Pongo's level, scratching behind the spotted dog's ears, "Let's see if your dad can do fix this lemon up," she cooed puckering her lips at the dog, who opted for a lick to the cheek instead. Like father like son, she assumed, all gentlemen. Pongo had certainly earned himself the fallen sausages from the grill for the next day.

Glancing over from her position, Ruby was trying to comprehend just what she was seeing. Archie, who normally moved with such slow hesitation and careful consideration was doing God knew what below the hood of the car like he was born for it. He plucked at things and touched stuff Ruby never would have thought to even touch, much less play around with, and he was smiling to himself as he did it. Even the grease on his fingers and forearms didn't seem to bother him.

Ruby had never really considered it before, but maybe, looking at Archie, he was kind of manly. Not just kind of manly, he was definitely manly. When he was confident and concentrated, well… it was refreshing and unsettling at the same time. Ruby stood up, balancing the jacket and clutching the leash, watching the curve of his back and helping herself to the view of his trunk… which wasn't all that bad, biting her lip. Withdrawing from under the hood, Archie clapped his hands together. "You should try turning it on."

Trying to contain her giggle – Archie Hopper couldn't talk about turning anything on when he was standing there with grease on his hands and grinning – revving more than her car's engine, that was for certain. Ruby was just glad she had a task to do or she might have just stared – she had an eye for things to be appreciated – but task! Yes, she had her task.

She gently tugged Pongo to go along with her, glancing over her shoulder at Archie, staring into the hood again. Pongo trotted by her side, tail wagging evenly, and she leaned into the front seat, holding her breath as she gripped the key. Maybe all the plucking and playing in the car was a joke, she wouldn't put it past some guys – though dishonesty didn't really seem to be Dr. Hopper's color.

When she twisted the key, the engine sputtered at first, her heart dropping at the immediate sounds, and then it revved up. Ruby gasped as the car stayed on, the lights on the dash lighting up one by one and the radio, that she had forgotten to turn off when she went in that morning starting up with at an almost deafening level. Pongo jumped and Ruby smacked the button turning it off before she withdrew from the car, Archie pulling down the hood and securing it closed.

She couldn't believe it. Archie Hopper, the people fixer, was also a secret mechanic? "How'd you learn to do that?" she asked with a bright smile, still holding onto his jacket – it smelled like his cologne, not over powerful, but definitely there, and Pongo sat obediently by her side.

Archie shrugged – struggling to find something to do with his dirty hands, clearly he learned his lesson from the smudge on his cheek. "I guess I picked it up over the years: clocks, appliances, cars… spending time around Marco, I guess," he quirked an awkward smile. "Glad it could be of some help here," he motioned to her car, rubbing his hands together again.

She should have known. You couldn't be around someone who tinkered that much and not pick up some tinkering in return. "You know," she smiled deviously, peering at him through her thickly painted eyelashes, "You never said what would happen if you did fix my car."

"I didn't have to," he answered immediately; "I knew it would start."

Apparently he didn't understand. Well, that was enough for Ruby to show, rather than tell. She was never really good at that word stuff anyway, that had always been a Mary Margaret thing – good at explaining things and helping others to get it too. So, she walked forward, smiling the whole way, Pongo following along without a clue as to what she was doing.

Ruby knew exactly what she was doing though, and threw her arms around Archie's shoulders, leaning up on her tip toes in the very shoes he saved from a terrible fate and planted a kiss right on his cheek, leaving another sort of grease stain on him. "Thanks, Archie," she leaned away, but not removing her arms.

He seemed to turn as red as the lipstick, chuckling awkwardly as he held his hands straight down by his sides, not really sure just what he was going to do with them. "I… well… you're quite welcome, Ruby." His awkwardness was cause enough for Ruby to be entertained and she pulled away, looking at him.

"You're a constant surprise Archie," she giggled. "Why don't I give you and Pongo here a ride home? Might not necessarily be payment in full, but – it's a start, right?" When he opened his mouth, Ruby waved her hand, "And I won't take no for an answer," she added: Archie's mouth shut immediately.

With a pleased smile, she opened the passenger's side front and back, letting Pongo climb in, Archie making a much more awkward way of climbing in – trying not to touch anything – complicating the issue of doing his seatbelt, evidenced by the look on his face as it turned from the belt to the clip several times. Ruby giggled, leaning over him – perhaps just a little too gratuitously, and clipped him in. "Can't be unsafe, can we?" she winked at him, and it sounded like he momentarily choked.

"Thank you, Ruby," he muttered, still bright red, looking straight ahead. Ruby put her foot on the brake, putting the car into drive, and she pulled out of the parallel park job she had done that morning with a grin on her face, "My pleasure, Archie. After all, sometimes the knight in… subdued twill… needs a lift too," she laughed brightly, turning the car around and back toward Archie's place. In that moment, she could have sworn the lipstick smudge disappeared right into the color of his face, and she only laughed louder.


End file.
